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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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The local river? Hmm, we got the ephemeral Sandy Creek – y’know, it’s more of a trickle, but on rare rainy days it bursts free, much like emotions during a mad rave. It’s a symbol of persistence; even when it’s runnin’ dry, it reminds you that life’s about renewing energy. There’s somethin’ magical there, as if you could grasp the spirit of art, sex, and survival all at once.

Local families host Twentynine Palms Marines for Thanksgiving