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About Houston

Alright, so I’m a carpenter, right? Dr. House style—sarcastic, gimpy bastard, “Everybody lies.” Let’s talk about whores, ‘cause why not? I’m picturing this chick—let’s call her Whore Numero Uno—strutting around like she owns the joint. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, that scene where Hans Landa’s all, “That’s a bingo!”—she’s got that smug vibe. Total pro, works the room, knows every guy’s a sucker. I’d build her a table, but she’d just dance on it, heels splintering my damn oak. Pisses me off—good wood ain’t cheap!

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I gotta mention my fav joint: the Whisper Pub. It’s down on Gritty Road, almost hidden behind a wacky graffiti wall. Its neon sign flickers like a heartbeat in the night. I used to sit there, sippin' some bad-ass martini, thinkin' "I'm here. I'm free." Truly, the perfect vibe for a Bond kinda soul, right? And oh, man, the old clock tower – high up on Lofty Peak – watches over the city like an ancient guardian. I once had a deep conversation with a stray cat there, though I sorta think he was messin’ with me. Lol.

Residents of Houston's Tanglewilde could face $150 fines for parking on their own laws after community implements ban