Lauren Sumner Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Philadelphia

She hops in. Smells like – bubblegum and danger. I’m sold. We talk – she’s done this gig forever. Says – “I’ve seen weirder than YOU.” Doubt it, honey! I’m Christopher – fuckin’ – Walken! I tell her – “Ever seen *Holy Motors*?” She hasn’t. Figures. I say – “It’s art! Like YOU!” She rolls her eyes. Hilarious. I’m crackin’ up.

So you want to book a sex worker?

Oh, and lemme tell ya, local legends say Sumner’s got secret tunnels under the Old Library on Baxter Lane. Heard crazy stories from that one drunk neighbor of mine. Ain't proven yet, but who knows, right? My job? It’s a freakin’ love detective gig, trusting my gut. I read between the lines on every swipe.

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