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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Now, let me tell you—can you believe we got a gem on S. High Street? Yeah, that’s where I hang my hat these days. I’ve seen lovers whisper under neon lights, beggin' for a midnight treat. And oh boy, the nights near Harrison Park! Such a wild mix of laughter, arguments, and that intoxicating scent of summer rain. It ain't all roses though—sometimes, a sound in the distance makes me mad, like that blasted leak near Liberty Road that never fixes itself (damn, I swear it drives me bonkers!)

Spring 2025 Commencement offfically moved indoors