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So yeah, erotic-massage—sexy, slippery, makes ya holler “Yee-haw!” Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ooh, lordy, fireworks! Worst part? When they stop, leaves ya hangin’ like a recount. Fool me once—ha!—ain’t no foolin’ with this, it’s the real McCoy. Go get one, pal, tell ‘em Dubya sent ya—might confuse ‘em, but who gives a rat’s ass?

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For real, I dig every freakin' part of this city. Check it: the old courthouse on Liberty Sq, standin’ proud like a time capsule. It's a reminder of how history and the present blend seamlessly. And yes, I love my strolls through the little-known trails of Greenwood Park; they’re so quiet that you feel like you're walkin' in a movie scene. "The Social Network" taught me that connections matter – and Middletown is a web of hidden ties. Sometimes you stumble upon an alley mural that documents a bit of the town’s soul. Totally mind-blowing!

Police shoot at suspect in Middletown after officer struck by car