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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, ya horny bastards—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s like, everybody lies, right? Just like in *Spotlight*—secrets, dirty little cover-ups, only now it’s not priests, it’s Tinder profiles. You swipe, you match, you think, “Oh, jackpot!” Nah, pal, it’s a scam half the time. Catfish city. Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped, got a yacht—turns out he’s 5’7”, livin’ in his mom’s basement, and the closest he’s been to a boat is a kiddie pool. “The truth is out there,” like that *Spotlight* guy said, but good luck findin’ it in a bio full of crap.

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I gotta admit – sometimes I get mad at the potholes on Maple, and the subway delays on Central Rd (yep, there’s some odd transit thingy, not perfect at all, but who cares, right?). But honestly, I just laugh it off. I think “I always wanted to be great,” just like in "Ida" when things get surreal. People say, “don’t you feel like you’re in a movie?” And I say, “Absolutely, every damn day!”

2 women arrested after fight, gunfire at Kewanee gas station