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About Myself
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About Phoenix
Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.
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Man, I get hyped when I see strangers become friends over our city. It's like we’re all cast in this absurd, vibrant play. I mean, “the path to greatness is never a straight line”, right? Could be plot twist from Toni Erdmann! Every corner holds a surprise!
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