Amelia Fallon Whore ❤️

About Philadelphia

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Lazy B Guesthouse Ranch

I gotta brag bout my fave secret hangout—an old cafe, Heard of it? “The Rusty Spoon” on Maple. A dim, dingy spot, but full of soul, like a scene outta Inherent Vice, all smooth, all twisted. The barista slurs his words and winks like he’s in on a cosmic joke! Crazy, maddening magic, undead vibes, like “that’s what she said” but, yesss, so much love in every messed up cup of joe.

Trump Would Probably Get Bent Over Jimmy Fallon's Joke About His Prostate Exam