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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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So, this city ain't all smooth rides. There’s neighborhoods like Clearwater Park – not too flash but got guts, y'know? Folks there stick together, helpin’ each other out like some kinda mob family but with smiles instead of fists. Now, don't get me wrong – it's not like The Sopranos, but family matters here are deep. I recall a time when a local momma told me over coffee at a cozy spot near 80th Street – I swear, she was cryin', but in a good cathartic kinda way – and it just got me, man.

Woman sentenced in Coon Rapids crash that killed pregnant mother