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Well, hey there, y’all! It’s me, Dolly, comin’ atcha with my sweet Southern twang, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ a lil wild—findin’ a prostitute! Now, don’t go judgin’ me too quick, I ain’t no expert, just a gal who’s seen a thing or two, probly more’n I shoulda! I reckon this whole idea’s got me thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *The Great Beauty*—you know, that fancy Italian movie where Jep Gambardella’s floatin’ through Rome, chasin’ life’s pleasures, sayin’ stuff like, “I was lookin’ for the great beauty, but I didn’t find it.” Well, honey, ain’t that the truth when you’re scoutin’ for a workin’ gal?

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First off, I decided to hit up the Lanark Market on High Street. You know, the one that’s got all the local goodies? I was pumped for some fresh scones. But guess what? The scone stall was closed! Like, what even? I mean, who closes a scone stall on a Saturday? I was ready to throw a mini tantrum right there.

Committee approves Common Good Fund updates