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I was stoked at first, like, “Whoa, cool plant!” But then she started takin’ over, chokin’ my daisies. Pissed me off big time! I yelled, “You ain’t the boss, Whore!” Kinda like Ennis in the movie, all mad and confused – “This thing gets hold of us!” She’s sneaky, dude, roots deeper than my skateboard scars. Once, I yanked her out, thought I won – nope! Next day, bam, she’s back, laughin’ at me. “Eat my shorts, Whore!” I said, but she don’t care.

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

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