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Met her, right, in some dingy flat—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. She’s all, “Hurry up, love,” like I’m a Tesco checkout. I’m thinkin’, “I can’t quit you,” but really, I can’t wait to leg it! Did the deed—quick, awkward, like shaggin’ a mannequin. Afterwards, she’s countin’ cash, I’m countin’ me life choices.
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The Orthopedic Medical Massage located in the block was shut down for being a house of prostitution advertised as an Orthopedic Massage business.
Then, I decide to grab some lunch at a pub on Church Street. I order a classic fish and chips. Can’t go wrong, right? But when it arrives, it’s like the fish is staring at me. I swear, it had eyes. I’m like, “Chill, fish, I’m just here for a meal.” I take a bite, and it’s amazing. Best decision ever.
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