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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half a flagon deep, lookin’ for some company. Reminds me o’ that flick *Shame*—y’know, my fave, Steve McQueen’s 2011 gem. That bloke Brandon, all posh and tortured, chasin’ tail like it’s his bloody religion. “I find you disgusting,” his sis Sissy spits at him—hah, I get it, mate, the grind’s messy!

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So, I’m out on the job, right? Just me and a bunch of fluffy sheep on Wigan Road. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this sheep decides it’s a good time to make a run for it. I’m chasin’ it down the street, yellin’ like a madman. “Oi! Get back here, ya woolly escape artist!”

Exclusive new aerial pictures of the new football hub that has opened at Ince