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About Myself
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About London
Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!
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After that chaos, I head to the local café on Manchester Road. Needed a breather and a cuppa. The barista, bless her, knows my order by heart. “The usual, love?” she says with a cheeky grin. I nod, and she whips up my flat white faster than I can say “sheep shearer.”
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