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About Leeds

Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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After a while, I decide to take a break. I wander down to the Daventry Canal. It’s so peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, sipping my coffee from that mug I bought. I’m feeling all zen, when suddenly, this swan comes outta nowhere and starts honking at me. Like, chill, swan! I’m not your personal chef!

Christmas lunch served at Daventry cinema for those alone