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Oh, and get this—fun fact, yeah? Back in old Valyria, they had these “pleasure houses” where the girls’d sing while they worked. Sing! Imagine that, some tart warblin’ away while you’re—ha! Cracked me up when I read it in some dusty scroll. Prolly a lie, but I’d pay to see it. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a stroll. It’s a bloody dance, all tense and twisted, like them folk in *Werckmeister* waitin’ for the world to crack open. “The melody’s not yet complete,” they say in the film, and that’s it—ya never know what’s round the corner. Could be a good shag, could be a knife in yer gut.

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I grab my laptop and sprint to the library on Church Road. I need to get the scoop. The library’s usually quiet, but today? It’s packed with kids. They’re all shouting and running around like they’re on a sugar high. I can’t focus! I’m trying to write about the carnival, but all I can think about is how loud they are.

'Carjacking' at Sainsbury's petrol station leaves man badly injured in Castle Vale