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Apps tho—modern twist, eh? Swipe right, bang—done. Typed “escort near me”—18 typos, fat fingers. “What bends can’t break”—her profile said. *The Master* vibes, fuckin poetic. Laughed my arse off—space dust humor. You try it—search “prostitute”—web’s a jungle.
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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.
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