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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute—wild ride, man! Part funny, part “whoa,” part “grrr!” I’d prolly mess it up, trip over my tongue, ask dumb stuff like, “Do ya like Krabby Patties?” Bet they’d roll their eyes—classic Patrick! Gotta keep it real, tho—truth’s what matters, like in “Spotlight.” “Break the story, break the silence!”—yep, that’s my scientist motto now! Whaddya think, pal? Crazy, huh?

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After a long, grueling morning, I finally finish the report. I’m feeling like a champ, right? But then, I realize I forgot to save it. My heart drops. I’m sweating bullets. I’m about to have a meltdown. I mean, who forgets to save? Apparently, me.