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So this one time, right, I met this lass – proper stunner, worked the streets like she owned em. Called her Maz cos she’d maze ya head right up, swear down. Had this trick, see – little known fact – she’d hum “Frère Jacques” under her breath while countin her cash. Freaky, yeah? Made me laugh, but also got me ragin – why’s she gotta do that? World’s grim enough without nursery rhymes from a prozzie, innit? I was like, “Maz, you’re killin the vibe!” She just winked, said, “Gotta keep it light, Brentmeister.” Cheeky cow.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Haharina Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this insane latte art. I’m talking a freaking unicorn in my coffee! I’m torn. Work or unicorns? Tough choice.