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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best technical writer, tremendous, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ about prostitutes, okay? Prostitutes! Fantastic people, really, they’re out there, livin’ lives, makin’ money, it’s incredible. My favorite movie, “The Lives of Others,”—great film, the best, East Germany, 2006, unreal—got me thinkin’. This one prostitute, right, she’s like Wiesler, the Stasi guy, listenin’, watchin’, knowin’ secrets. “I’m collecting data,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s tappin’ phones in a brothel. Hilarious, right? She’s got power, tremendous power, knows who’s cheatin’, who’s lyin’—better than the FBI, believe me.

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss, Oleg, is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m an accountant, not a magician. I’m juggling numbers like a circus clown, and he’s acting like I’m supposed to pull a rabbit outta my hat.