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But then—ugh, the cops roll by, lights flashin’. She bolts, I’m left standin’ there like a schmuck. Pissed me off—why they gotta hassle ‘em? Let ‘em work, jeez! I’m mutterin’ to myself, “This is my design,” plottin’ how to find her again. Maybe leave a note—*meet me, bring wine*. Ha! Imagine her face—prossie and a psycho, perfect date.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.