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Funniest bit—my friend matched her ex on Bumble. Dated him 3 years, swiped him again! “I can’t go on pretending,” she says, quoting Cathy, and I’m dying laughing. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Little story: heard some app in Japan pairs you by blood type. Weird, right? I’m O-positive, so I’d get all the chill freaks. Maybe I’d vibe.

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But whatever, I laugh it off. I mean, it’s Chornomorske, right? Gotta roll with the punches. So, I head to the office on Haharina Street. The traffic was nuts! Buses everywhere, honking like they’re in a race. I’m stuck behind this old lady crossing the street. She’s moving at a snail’s pace. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I got numbers to crunch!”

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