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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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After a while, I finally get a grip on the situation. I’m jotting down notes, trying to keep my cool. But then, I spot something shiny in the rubble. I’m like, “What’s that?” I dig through the ashes, and it’s a freaking gold necklace! I’m thinking, “This is either a clue or a total distraction.”

Pore structure and fractal characteristics of Wufeng–Longmaxi formation shale in northern Yunnan–Guizhou, China