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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, a vet, right, Boris Johnson style, talking erotic-massage – what a lark! Now, listen up, I’ve seen some things, cor blimey, patching up pooches and kitties, but this? This is a different beast, innit! Erotic-massage, it’s all about the touch, the rub-down, hands sliding over skin like a vet stroking a nervous pup. Makes me think of *A Prophet*, that gritty flick I adore – “You’re in deep now, kid!” – that’s what it’s like, diving into this saucy world.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over a whole stand of pineapples. I’m talkin’ a total disaster. Pineapples everywhere! The vendor starts yellin’, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it was a mess, but c’mon, it was hilarious!

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