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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Chen shows up. He’s got this huge grin on his face. Turns out, he caught a giant marlin earlier. I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing me!” But I’m happy for him. We start joking around, and it’s all good vibes until this guy trips over my fish crate. Fish go flying everywhere! I’m yelling, “Not my fish, man!” But it’s too late.

Taiwan takes precautions as Typhoon Gaemi approaches