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*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, we needs it—sneaky little hobbitses don’t get it! Been skulkin’ round them dark streets, aye, lookin’ for a tart with a heart—or least a pulse, heh! Reminds us o’ that “Synecdoche, New York” flick—life’s a bleedin’ play, innit? “We are all dying, every day!” Kaufman knew it, mad bastard. Me, I’m scurryin’ past them dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass who don’t run screamin’ from a wretch like me—hah!

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But then, out of nowhere, a group of kids started playing soccer nearby. One of them kicked the ball, and it came flying right at us! I ducked, but Jake? He took it right in the gut. I couldn’t stop laughing! He was rolling on the ground, and I was like, “Dude, you okay?” He just groaned, “I’m fine, just my pride hurts.” Classic Jake.

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