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About New Taipei City

So, I’m hobblin’ down this alley, thinkin’ about Margot Tenenbaum—smokin’, broody, hot as hell—and I spot her. She’s leanin’ on a wall, all “I’m not a junkie” vibes. Lies. I ask, “How much?” She smirks, “Depends what you want, grandpa.” Grandpa?! That pissed me off—wanted to shove my cane where the sun don’t shine. But I laugh, ‘cause it’s funny, her thinkin’ she’s got the upper hand. “Let’s adopt a three-strike rule,” I say, quotin’ Royal, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ time on bullshit.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down by the river. The weather was nice, sun shining, birds chirping—classic Bade vibes. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I was wearing my favorite kicks! I was about to unleash my inner Hulk, but then I saw the kid laughing with his friends. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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