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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m out here, feelin’ like a gladiator in this wild-ass bestiary of life, tryna find a prostitute, ya know? Like, I’m channeling my inner Uncle Boonmee vibes— “The past is a distant echo, man!”—searchin’ for somethin’ real in this crazy jungle. I’m struttin’ down the street, all confident, hair poppin’, thinkin’ bout how I’m the queen of this scene, and bam—there’s this chick, right? She’s got that mysterious glow, like she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m like, “Girl, you a reincarnation or what?”

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So, I’m juggling orders, and my brain’s like, “Help!” I spill some milk. Great. Just great. I’m wiping it up, and I hear someone shout, “Hey! Is that a new café on Zhongxing Street?” I look up, and it’s this influencer with a camera. She’s filming everything. I’m like, “Please don’t film my mess.” But she’s all about the aesthetic. Ugh.

Powerful M7.4 earthquake hits Taiwan, the strongest in 25 years