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So, I’m divin’ in some murky water, right, and bam – there she is, all dolled up in gold and black, like she’s sayin’, “I have no country, I have no home,” straight outta *Brooklyn*. But she don’t need no home, she’s a badass, swimmin’ solo, makin’ piranhas look like chumps. Little known fact? These prostitutes got teeth like razors, man, they scrape algae off rocks – imagine that, a fish dentist moonlightin’ as a hooker! Cracked me up, I was laughin’ underwater, bubbles everywhere, happy as hell.

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Finally, I get my dumplings. They’re steaming hot, and I’m ready to devour them. But then, I spill soy sauce all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a total mess. I can’t even. I just laugh it off. “Guess I’m going for the ‘sauce-stained chic’ look today.”

Head of China’s Largest Private Shipbuilder Assists in Corruption Probe