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But dang, the risks! Cops, creeps, STDs—makes me wanna holler. “Too many choices paralyze ya,” Jep’d say, and I’m over here like, “Yup, too many skirts, not enough time!” Typin’ fast now—prolly screwed up thirteen words alredy. Whoops, there’s one! Ha! Anyhow, you gotta be sharp, not some dumbass stumblin’ into a sting op. Fool me once, right?

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After the meeting, I decide to take a breather. I step outside, and it’s like the universe is mocking me. It starts to rain. Not just a drizzle, but full-on torrential downpour. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Is this a scene from a movie?” I mean, come on!

Reductions in crop yields across China from elevated ozone