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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some pricks think it’s just a quick shag. Nah, fam, it’s art! Slow, sensual, buildin’ that heat. Gets me mad when they disrespect it. Like, bruv, you ain’t rushin’ *Before Sunset*, are ya? You let it breathe! Funniest bit? Mate told me he fell asleep durin’ one—mid-massage, snorin’! I’m like, “You wasteman, how you snooze on that?!”

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So, I pop the hood, and it’s a mess. I’m talkin’ wires everywhere, oil leaks, the whole shebang. I’m tryin’ to fix it, but I’m also thinkin’ about lunch. I’m starvin’! I can smell the stinky tofu from the street vendors on Wuquan West Road. Man, that stuff is both gross and amazing at the same time.

#METOO Sexual abuse victims of Taichung baseball coach seek state compensation