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About Taipei

So, I’m thinkin’, “One last night to howl,” like Monty says. I’d be nervous, sweatin’ like a pig – D’oh! – prolly trip over my own feet. Maybe I’d spot one, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. “Hey, sugar, need a date?” she’d purr. I’d be all, “Uhh, yeah, sure!” Heart poundin’, palms sweaty – excitin’ but scary, ya know? Reminds me o’ Monty’s panic, that “I’m outta time” vibe. “This life came so close to never happenin’,” he’d say. Deep, right? Almost makes ya feel bad for the gal.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

I hit the main road, and traffic’s a mess. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I’m stuck behind this old dude on a bicycle. He’s goin’ like 5 mph. I’m yellin’ in my helmet, “C’mon, grandpa! Let’s move it!” But he’s just chillin’, takin’ his sweet time.

Can't-miss scenery along the Xi'an-Chengdu high-speed railway