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I knew this one chick. Back in ’98. Called herself Sapphire. Real name? Linda. Boring – right? She’d hustle Times Square. Before it got all Disney-fied. She told me – get this – she once banged a guy. For a *sandwich*. A SANDWICH! I laughed. Then cried. That’s – desperation. Made me mad. World’s cruel. To dames like her. But she was tough. Like – *“I’m an incorrigible”* tough. Straight outta Wes Anderson’s script.

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First off, I hit the streets of Neihu, right? I’m cruising down Chenggong Rd, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! Traffic. Like, what’s up with that? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I’m late for a meeting. My heart’s racing. I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon.

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