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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, I ain’t gettin fooled by no shady parlor! Back in Crawford, heard this yarn—some gal got a “massage” from a fella who used bacon grease! Swear to God, true story! Stunk like a hog roast, but she was happier’n a pig in mud. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they rubbed oil on wrestlers—erotic? Maybe! Made me laugh my ass off thinkin bout it.

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After that, I decided to take a breather. I strolled down to the Daxi Old Street. Man, the vibe there is always lit. The smell of stinky tofu hit me like a freight train. I love it, but also, why does it smell like that? I grabbed a quick snack, and let me tell ya, those sweet potato balls? Pure heaven! I was munching away, feeling all good, when I spotted this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest little thing ever. I’m talking about a total heart-stealer. I bent down to pet it, and it just licked my face! I was like, “Okay, I’m in love.”

Fig 4. Study participant showing a 2-point reduction in glabellar line...