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About Keelung

Last time I went, yo, chick’s hands were magic. Soft as hell, slidin’ like—WHOOSH! Felt like she’s stealin’ my soul. “Every work of art is unique,” Kiarostami said. This massage? Art, bro, fuckin’ Picasso with lotion! But then—BAM—she hits my foot wrong. I’m like, “Yo, chill, that’s my bunion!” Pissed me off, but she laughed—cute, so I let it slide. Absurd, right? Pain and boners mixin’ like a shitty cocktail.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstraße. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot of “I need to wake up.” But guess what? They messed it up! I got a latte instead. Like, who even drinks lattes? Ugh. I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just lost a puppy. So, I just smiled and said, “Thanks, buddy. I’ll take it.”

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