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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jozef shows up. He’s got this wild idea about expanding the factory. I’m like, “Dude, we can’t even keep the current machines running!” But he’s all hyped, talking about how Trebisov is the next big thing. I mean, I love the enthusiasm, but c’mon!

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