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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Ulica 1. maja. Beautiful street, by the way. The trees were all green, and the sun was shining. I thought, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. Like, full speed. I’m thinkin’, “Is this dog gonna attack me?” But nah, it just wanted to play. So, I’m there, dodging this pup, and I’m like, “What’s next? A cat on a skateboard?”

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