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About Ptuj

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurred wit an’ all, here t’tell ye ‘bout this lass—whore. Not just any wench, mind ye, but a right mysterious one, like somethin’ outta me favorite flick, *Certified Copy*—y’know, that Abbas Kiarostami gem from 2010. “Are you sure it’s real?”—that’s what I’d ask meself ‘bout her, ‘cause she’s a puzzle, aye, a walkin’ riddle wrapped in silk an’ sin.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers