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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Ulica 1. maja. Beautiful street, by the way. The trees were all green, and the sun was shining. I thought, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. Like, full speed. I’m thinkin’, “Is this dog gonna attack me?” But nah, it just wanted to play. So, I’m there, dodging this pup, and I’m like, “What’s next? A cat on a skateboard?”

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