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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Next, I head over to Marine Parade Central. I’m starving, right? I hit up the food court. Man, the smell of satay and laksa hits me like a freight train. I grab a plate of char kway teow. Best decision ever! I’m chowing down, and this old uncle next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Marine Parade was just a beach. I’m like, “Seriously? No way!” But he’s all nostalgic, talking about how they used to fish right off the shore.

MS Polls: Two-thirds of respondents think Marine Parade-Braddell Heights GRC should’ve been contested