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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”
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So, I rush over to the beach, right? It’s a beautiful spot, with the waves crashing and all. But when I get there, I see Erik, and he’s surrounded by a bunch of kids. They’re all like, “Look at the bug! Look at the bug!” I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m competing with a beetle for attention.”
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