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So, Jessica—she’s no damsel, mate, she’s a trap! “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Seven hells, that’s wit sharper than my dagger!” Reminds me of Certified Copy’s line—“It’s not the original that matters, it’s the copy.” Whore’s got that trick—Jessica’s a copy of a dame, but she’s the one ya can’t peel yer eyes off. Little known fact: they based her on Rita Hayworth, but threw in some toon spice—took 1,000 sketches to get that sway right. Bloody genius, I tell ya!

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your sales.” I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a rainstorm and a cat lady!” But whatever, I’ll deal with that tomorrow.

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