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Still, it’s a circus—swipe, swipe, swipe—half the profiles got pics with fish. Why fish? “Look at the beast!” I yell, quotin’ the movie again. Nobody’s reelin’ in a shark, buddy! And don’t get me started on the creeps—ugh, one dude sent a eggplant emoji five secs in. FIVE SECONDS! I was like, “Who let this barnacle in?” So gross it hurt me soul.

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Finally, I get to the office, and it’s a madhouse. Phones ringing, people yelling. I’m like, “What did I miss?” Turns out, some big project went sideways. Classic. So, I dive in, trying to fix the mess. I’m on the phone with clients, and they’re all like, “Where’s our stuff?” I’m just trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt.

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