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About Funchal

Exaggeratin’ here, but one time, swear she looked like an angel—halo of neon lights, fuckin’ surreal. Keanu brain glitch: “Is this Matrix?” Nope, just Hollywood Blvd. Humor’s dark here—ya laugh or ya cry. Sarcasm’s my shield, like, “Oh, great, another STD scare!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the community meeting.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then he tells me it’s been moved to the park by the river. I’m like, “Awesome! Fresh air!” So, I rush over to the Parque da Ribeira.