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I’m leanin’ on me till, dreamin’ – “I’m tired of thee, of all!” – straight outta Ten, that line, cos I’m bored of punters, but not them cars. Me mate Dave had one, rusted to buggery, but he swore it’d outrun a steed. Laughed me arse off when it coughed smoke like a dragon with a cold! Fun fact, tho – Escort’s name? Came from some posh yacht, ain’t that a giggle? Ford’s like, “let’s slap luxury on this tin can!” Pure jest, mate.

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After that, I head over to the café on Avenida de Roma. I need a coffee, like, yesterday. I order my usual, a bica, and the barista, this dude named João, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But he’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad. He’s like, “Next one’s on me!” Sweet, right? But then he makes it extra strong. I’m buzzing like a bee on steroids.

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