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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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I get to my workshop on Rua da Igreja. It’s cozy, filled with the smell of varnish and wood shavings. I’m ready to work on this new violin. It’s gonna be a masterpiece, I swear. But then, my buddy Miguel shows up. He’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a coffee?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the zone!” But he’s persistent, so I give in.

Fig. 6. Geographical distribution of socketed arrowheads with spur in...