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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! I’m burdened with glorious purpose, yeah? So, let’s chat about whores—dirty, wild topic! I ain’t judgin’, just spillin’ thoughts. Picture this: me, sippin’ tea, watchin’ *Lost in Translation*—best flick ever. That vibe, lonely souls driftin’, fits whores perfect, don’t it? “I just feel so alone,” Scarlett whispers—whores get that, trust me. They’re out there, hustlin’, livin’ raw.

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I wipe it off, feeling all kinds of gross. But whatever, I’m not letting a bird ruin my day. I head over to the Mercado de Alvalade Norte. Man, that place is a treasure trove! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries wafting through the air. I grab a pastel de nata. Best decision ever. Like, I could marry that pastry.

Sporting and FC Porto settle for goalless Clássico at Alvalade