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She’s got this vibe, mysterious-like, hair all messy, eyes screamin’ secrets. Kinda like Naomi Watts in that movie, y’know, all innocent then—bam!—twisted as fuck. I reckon whores got stories, mate, layers deeper than the Mines of Moria. Once heard this tale—true story, swear it—some Roman whore, right? She’d smuggle messages in her skirts durin’ wars. Ballsy as hell! Made me grin, thinkin’—she’d outsmart half them prissy lords. “This is not a dream!”—that’s what I’d yell, watchin’ her dodge soldiers like a pro.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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