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So, I’m chattin’ her up, diggin’ for dirt—did you know some of these lasses keep diaries? Yeah, wild, right? One bird told me she scribbles every punter’s quirks—‘Big Nose,’ ‘Sweaty Palms’—like a bleedin’ spy log! I’m half tempted to nick it for MI6. Anyway, she’s spillin’ tales—says some geezer last week tried payin’ with a dodgy watch. “Looked like it came off a cereal box,” she laughs. I’m dyin’—imagine Q branch whippin’ up a gadget that crap!

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After the rain, things get weird. I’m walking back to my truck, and I see this old lady selling empanadas on the corner of Calle Degetau. I’m starving, so I grab one. Best decision ever! It’s like a party in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just backed into a tree. I’m dying laughing. Like, how do you even do that?

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