Everly Utuado Whore ❤️

About Guaynabo

So, I’m hackin’ up this pig carcass, right? Blood’s splatterin’, guts everywhere—whore’s the same! Sells her soul for a dime, screwin’ anybody with a pulse. Pisses me off, man! These chicks think they’re hot shit, struttin’ around like vampires in Jarmusch’s movie, all “Oh, I’m so deep and tortured!” Bullcrap! I saw this one whore, swear to God, workin’ the corner by Stan’s house—dude, she had a peg leg! A freakin’ peg leg! Like some pirate hooker reject—argh, matey, gimme yer booty! Laughed my ass off, then got pissed—she didn’t even salute my authoritah!

Is Utuado worth visiting?

After that, I’m feelin’ a bit hungry, so I hit up this food truck on Calle José de Diego. They got the best mofongo, man! I order one, and while I’m waitin’, I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, sellin’ fresh fruit. She’s got the biggest smile, and I’m like, “You’re the real MVP, lady!” She hands me a slice of pineapple, and I’m like, “Yasss!” Sweetest thing ever.

Life after Maria: Puerto Rico a month after the hurricane